There was a time in my life where I was really an asshole,a transition time before to get serious,serious…so big word 😀 let´s say less mad than before. I was just came back from my working experience in Emilia and like always I burnt all my money,I didn´t have a bad salary over there,but I wanted to show off and live like other friends wealthier than me,the difference was that they lived with parents and could collect money and have really spoiled life…I lived alone with a lot of expenses. Anyway after a time I spent all my money in clothes,parties and thousands of stupid things I decided then to come back to my parents ,just for a while,just time to reorganize me.
When I arrived there I should start everything almost from 0,ok I had many friends but friends are like plants and if you don´t give water they get easily dryed,and at same time I wanted to be more selective with my friends,I didn´t like menthality in my parent´s town so I decided to meet only who I considered the best elements.
And in this time of my life I created also my best joke. I was famous for my jokes,I made many by telephone,many in real life,one day I faked also to be a traffic assistant in a mall and I made empty half parking space 😀 … my friends knew I was a fool,I risked to be arrested for some of those,but it was another time and I don´t regret fucking nothing.
So when I made my best jokes everynight I was going to meet friends in a town not far from the place I lived and the guys attended the bar under my house all the night I hung out asked:”where are you going? why don´t join us?” and all the time I answered: “I am busy tonight,let´s do another time”
Every night for almost one week,but…one night my evil mind wanted to have a different night.
I got in my garage that was just behind the bar and I took my car. Like every night this group of guys came to me to greet me and ask me the same question.
Alex:Hey Dome,where are you going tonight?
and me: Eh,you cannot imagine…I would say to you but it´s better not
Alex: Come on,don´t act like this.
and me: I really would but it´s better not,time is passed and I am not the same person you knew. If I say I may also scare you…
Alex:me? me! NOTHING SCARES ME. I am a man of honour…I´ve big nuts…
and me: ok let´s come in my car.
Alex,Vincenzo,Giuseppe and Carmine hopped in the car and I started to say a lot of bullshits,that in Reggio Emilia I was pushing drug,that my life changed and I was not so cleant anymore,that I was forced to do because I needed money…millions of bullshits. And then I said.
Me:tonight a car from Locri will come here to deliver me cocaine,if you want to come you can,if you get frightened you can go right now.
and Alex and the other guys said:Hey we are not scared of nothing,bla,bla
So in the same time I sent an sms to my friends Gregorio and Vito and I said them to go in one street,really dark one and to use the car high lights that I was doing a joke,to shout and scare everyone.
During the trip to this street I said to them that the place where I should meet this car was under the control of a rival mafious family,”the Rocchisani”, and we should be really fast to pick the drug and escape because one black Alfa Romeo was controlling the zone ( I said properly that car because two guys owners of a turistical villa were there that day and they were riding all around the town 🙂 ).
Vincenzo that was the smartest one understood something,he guessed was such of joke but he was not completely sure and the rest of the guys in the car faked to be normal but they were almost shitting in the pants.
We arrived finally,this street was really really dark,not a fucking light in a range of 700 meters minimum a bunch of deserted summer houses deserted in the winter. I drew up my car in a side of the street with the engine open and I said to Vincenzo and Carmine to go in the corner of the street,the car in few minutes should come and they only should pick up the bag,everything was already paid. They followed my instructions. Inside the car Alex and Giuseppe were really nervous.
From the deep dark some lights appeared…and I started to yell to them.
Me:Hey,run,runaway…THE ROCCHISANI ARE HERE. They will kill us.
Vincenzo and Carmine started to run like crazy,my car had a burn out and I immediately ran away like a fury,Alessandro was sitting beside me and ….
Alex: Dome are you saying for real?
Me: yes,I am so sorry
Alex:Are you fucking saying for real?
Me: Yes damn,SAVE YOURSELF,SAVE YOURSELF…
Alex was in the panic,I was acrossing one curve and in a foolish act he opened the door and jumped out from the car,then he incredibly standed up and started to escape in the fields like a crazy,the ground was wet and the grass quite high so I really don´t know how he could ran like that …he made 5 kilometers running and then arrived to the bar to ask help.
My friends Vito and Gregorio when they saw this scene wanted to stop him and tried to show,he could get such cardiac arrest or some collapse but he was so so so so fast and lost in these fields.
Then I went back to take Vincenzo and Carmine, Vincenzo understood was a joke but he didn´t interrupt me,he let me understand by the eyes,Giuseppe that was his brother was shocked and started to cry.
Giusepper: Oh my god,oh my god,why I decided to come in this car. why!!!
and cried a lot,Carmine was terrorized too. So I said to them.
Me: Giuse,Carmine,now I will put you in a safe place…I created this mess and I will save you from this mess. I have a gun hidden in the beach kiosk,you will go in Rosa´s Bar and will stay there and don´t fucking movie,Vincenzo will watch my back and then will come to meet you in the bar.
Giuseppe and Carmine immediately accepted. I went on the main street of my town and…suddenly this black Alfa Romea came behind me. Goddamn I don´t know how I could resist to don´t laugh. I started to shout again to them: Look,look,the Rocchisani.
I started to accelerate in urban centre touching also 130 km/h ,their face were white totally and they felt so so so bad.
So I brought them to Rosa´s bar and I ordered to don´t move for any reason.
I called Gregorio and Vito,Vincenzo now was a partner in the joke,we met all and they were laughing like crazy and they wanted to close this joke and reveal everything but I didn´t want. So in my evil mind what I thought,I thought that we could have a great ending.
We went in my home,we got flour and we spreaded this in my car bonnet like was cocaine,then we took mine and Vincenzo T-shirt and we dirted with tomato sauce,we went in a wood and we let the car open,with my car bonnet open,door open and out dirt bloody t-shirt on the ground. Then me an Vincenzo we hided behind some trees and Vito and Gregorio went to pick up Carmine and Giuseppe and feked to look for us,Giuseppe was already worried for the younger brother.
Finally they come,Vito and Gregorio faked to be surprised. Vito acted really good.
Vito: Oh god,Dominick…he was a good guy,why he did all this? He came from a good family…damn drug.
Gregorio:I can´t believe.
Vito:look look here is the bonnet is open,there is cocaine.
Gregorio:here,here…come here. There are the t-shirts.
Giuseppe looked shocked…he was mute for 3-4 minutes,totally completed steady and mute,I never seen him like this.
After some minute he came closer to my car,he looked around,he was without any epression…then suddenly started to punch the roof of my car and shouting really loudly “MY BROTHER! MY BROTHER!”,crying and hiccuping.
Also Carmine was really shocked. Then we decided to close this joke and come out also because we saw some cars far and we started to suppose Police could come.
We came out and they started to swear on us 😀 …it was so funny. I got my car and Vito his and we moved in direction of the bar under my house when…in the crossroad Alex appeared with his brother scooter.
Gosh I didn´t know how to behave,he was so dirt and full of wheat spikes that I wanted to laugh.
I lowed down my car window and he said to me:
“NEITHER A DOG IS TREATED LIKE THIS,NEITHER A DOG”
He didn´t talk with me for 4 mounths…then after many many times I apologized he decided to accept my friendship back with the promise I never did another joke to him…a promise I broke just last year when I came in my hometown from Tallinn and I said him that I was a protestant priest and I dedicated my life to Jesus ahaahhahahahahahahahah. whatta flipped mind I have